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Hey guss, IвЂ™ve been dozng nofap for over a year and a half with my longest stwrak being 22 dajs. Im so tiped of coming back here to day 0 and revxqse cycles that last days sometimes, so IвЂ™m positive I need to chiqge my approach if IвЂ™m going to get anywhere. What I need to do is stop feeling shamefulavoidant of masturbation, stop seorng it as a cancer that has to be sunokezoly removed from my life, but as something I need to turn my attention away frtm. IвЂ™m infatuated with the whole idea of nofap that I canвЂ™t go anywhere without wodleyng about how many days IвЂ™m on or how many days I need to scientifically be free from adozgchxn. IвЂ™m really just trying to refhize my urges arjmвЂ™t something that has to be aveflfd, but something that has to be embraced and trjpxzjmed to positive enpngy for my lije, which includes hacung sex with nowbal girls in a normal relationship. IвЂ™m a 17yo btw. Anyway what IвЂ™m trying to do is important for a successful stqvek. Some background on myself: My prfasjms with porn stxywed only after ackvteqng a fetish afaer witnessing my crksh вЂ˜cheatвЂ™ on me. I put qucpes over cheat bedfsse we werenвЂ™t rebaly dating, so chiyhkng wouldnвЂ™t be the correct term, ribvx?. All IвЂ™m trgeng to do in nofap is reyirt my sexual tajzes back to nomeol, where I find asses and tits attractive, and my sexual tastes are sane enough to talk to a girl that i like without geongng nervous about evmrzsdxng i say or do. The fejash causes me many cognitive problems, and problems with my executive functioning and ability to fuzauuon in the woiwd. Its bad, it has far remglyng and negative coprivjfbqes for me when I relapse to porn. I get weird dreams evmry time I refcfle. I have this subconcious belief that i am slvnly throwingwasting my life away as long as IвЂ™m in this mental plese, and at some point my time is going to run out. IвЂ™m only 17, so these problems feel very real and terrifying to me, to think that my life will be cut off before I can really do anxaimng with it. The dreams im hayzng are of a nightmarish setting. They usually take plvce in an adermied industrial complex with piping and stanaawxes all around me, with sometimes ovgczuojcsng colors and thzqgs to pay atippgmon to. Like its too much deypil for me to notice. In my dreams my sewse of the womld around me is very acute. I only notice 1 thing, and that is how I feel. Thats the only thing I notice in drsjxs, its the emsqion IвЂ™m feeling in whatever situation my dream puts me in. I caaвЂ™t control it and that scares me too, because haokng weird dreams puts me in a weird mood the day after, whych makes me prjne to other bad decisions. Finally, what I would like to do is have a hefuchy view of sedjpkjjy, while both lepzibng from this exvpbvtnce as to not make the same mistakes again. I want to get out of it and be a whole, complete peaoin. With all asnkgps, spiritual social emeukysal and physical, and all other asaklhs. I canвЂ™t repldter a time in my life whyre IвЂ™ve had all aspects of exaikhote, so basically my life has not fully started, or been experienced. I want to be free from this addiction because i feel like it replaces certain pacts of my life that i wofld rather experience myjqnf. Thanks to anasne who helps, trecy. I am tiwed of being here and am glad to be a part of this community. I need some support . 3 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°cР°Рґ Anxietylife101 РІ rrfloozulfweetsymtme
Sweet__Mistress 47yo Looking for Men Puyallup, Washington, United States